ai: boy am i glad i missed luke menard sing tonight. i liked most of the guys. danny n is sucktastically fabulous and since he's a ton more entertaining than chikeze, i'd like to see him stay on. so my hope for this week is that luke and chikadee go byebye.

ww: i lost 2.4 lbs last week. i'm eating a little too much pb&j, but i expect another loss this week.

kids: i've been stressing for the last couple of months what to do with my 3 year old come september. she's pretty smart academically and learns new concepts quickly, but her language is significantly delayed and she doesn't understand questions and descriptions. plus she loves to hit and bite her classmates. she's too smart for special ed but if i put her into a regular ed class, she would be the bad kid and would probably get yelled at all the time which i don't want.

so i visited a special ed preschool today and i was pleasantly surprised. they split up the classes by learning abilities and not by age, and the kids seemed very normal for the most part. and 80% of the kids who go there mainstream into regular classrooms within 1-2 years. plus it's free if she's approved by the board of ed. i'm really crossing my fingers because she needs the extra help.

if she doesn't get approved, the school by me has 22+ kids and 3 teachers and costs $500 a month plus $400 to register. this school has 3 teachers to 12 kids and includes transportation all for the low cost of $0.

other: i need a haircut desperately. i think if i lose 20 lbs i'll get one as a reward

my landlord wants to raise us $200/month rent this year. she bargained us to $100, but she also wants to dictate my laundry schedule as well and harass me day after day about it. so i'll be looking for a new apartment shortly. i'm excited at the prospect of downgrading and actually saving money for once. since my dad's not with us anymore, we can even move to a big 2 bedroom. maybe just maybe we could buy something of our own within five years.

idol week 2: the boys

i was really tired last night and was half asleep during the performances so i don't really remember much...

i missed the first performance since my kids were being demanding at bed time-- how dare theymake me miss michael??

but thank goodness i came just in time to witness luke menard's atrocity. my prediction is that without his lucky sweatshirt to help him this week, he will be going home.

the guy with the dreads was ok. he's gotta get rid of the guitar so we can see what he is really made of.

chikeze bored me so i switched channels to watch a law & order rerun.

jason yeagar was god awful. i think he'll go home with the lukester.

danny noriega was pretty terrible as well but he's gonna stay.

david archuleta was also boring to me so i switched back to law & order. but when i tuned into ai again, they were all raving about him so either i missed something amazing or the judges are back to their super-pimping ways.

i missed the schoolhouse rock looking guy as well. i was probably watching law & order yet again.

david hernandez really impressed me, especially after is boring performance last week.

robbie carrico sucked yet again. he was shouting all of three notes the entire time.

so yeah, a pitiful recap. but like i said, it will probably be jason yeager and luke going home. although schoolhouse rock guy (david cook, ty americanidol.com) could go too if he was his usual sucky.

can someone please tell me how colton got kicked off while luke and his hoodie were kept on for another week?

at least the right girls were kicked off.

in other reality tv business, i'm very excited to see a breastfeeding mama on top model. it's great that she's so committed, but what exactly is the point of her drinking her milk?? if she's so adamant that her baby nurses when she comes home, why is it ok for the child to drink the evil poison, aka formula, while she's gone??? breastmilk is fattening, too, and i don't think it would do much to help a model's figure. but to each her own, and i'm glad breastfeeding is getting more media exposure.

now about me... after losing 45 lbs, i gained 12 back since august. i keep on saying i'll get back into the swing of things but it never happens. something clicked with me today and i finally feel the drive that i did when i lost the weight last time. knowing myself, i probably won't make it to goal this time around, but i think i can lose at least another 30. i'm worried about purim and pesach. pesach is when i fell apart last year. but for nowit's on, bitches.

kristy lee cook-she managed to sing rescue me consistently sharp the entire time. but she's so darn cute and i envy her hair. that could pull her through.

next up, joanne borgella, the plus size model. now that's my kind of gal. but she flopped the bottom notes and on some of the melody it seemed like she caught a case of kristy's sharpness.

alaina whitaker- she looks kinda like carrie underwood. she's turning 17 tomorrow and asking america to keep her on ai for her birthday. but after that we can vote her off. after hearing her sing, though, i have a feeling she'll be around longer than that. she nailed her song completely. i guess not all the girl caught the pitch fever.

amanda overmeyer- her song was really interesing. i happen to think she did a fantastic job.

amy davis- i think she covered a lullaby, because she definitely put me to sleep. and she sang it flat with a few voice cracks to add flavor.

brook white- i was bored yet again. i think she wore too much make up too and i missed her natural look.

alexandrea lushington- she was okay. definitely had more energy than brook, amy, kristy, and diane. but her head voice was powerless. i wonder if she was sick.

kady malloy- i'm seriously finding it hard to comment. the girls are boring me to tears. but sadly enough her performance is in the top 3 so far. simon said she's the exact opposite of what he thought of her in the beginning, that she did a 180. randy showed off his geometry skills by correcting him and saying she did a 360.

asia'h epperson- she sang a slightly ghetto version of piece of my heart. i don't think it was amazing, but she performed it well. simon said it was his favorite performance of the night. i think alaina was worlds better. honestly, i don't think asia'h's(?) voice is so great. but at least i could bear to watch her which is more than i can say for most of the other girls.

ramiele malubay- she looks just like a girl from my abnormal psych class. but this girl can sing! i really enjoyed her performance.

syesha mercado- simon's comments basically hit the nail on the head. it wasn't the best vocally, but she gave a great performance. but then he said she had his package. he lost me there.

carly smithson- she has a beautiful voice, but her peformance was boring to me. randy said she had the best performance of the evening. i don't know why he's pimping her so much.

i think joanne and amy will be going home.

my take on idol: the top 12 boys

1) david hernandez- a generic pretty boy voice. the ending of his song was horrendous. his voice cracked, and i can't get past that. his dad looks like bam margera's father.

2) chikezie + eze = cheesy

3) david cook- honestly, this is a weird and confusing rendition of so happy together. i think i liked it. but maybe i didn't. wait, what was i talking about again? oh yes, i liked his school of rock look. i think.

4) jason yeager- pretty boring but not bad. i'm not sure i would vote for him if i actually cared to vote... but wait... he threw in a tribute to his grandma, sure to win the votes of middle aged women all across america. btw he was so boring that i didn't catch his name until the recap at the end.

5) robbie carrico- another rocker this year. and he's soooo cool, he even toured with britney! but he's not a pop singer, "definitely a rocker." yeah sure JT, oops i mean RC. now to the actual song, he sounded constipated the entire time. every time he got to the word do(o), i imagined him trying to push out a shit.

6) david archuleta- he's cute and mousy. his voice cracked once but i wasn't so hung up on it. it was a fun performance.

7) danny noriega- he starts of by saying he wants to be hot. but will he make the grade? he's dressed nicely, but that's about as close as he gets. he definitely chose the wrong song. danny sounded like he was racing through the entire song, but we all know he could do better, right? we're all too afraid of his bitchslap to insult him too much.

8) luke menard- the first thing i noticed about him was his green hoodie, the same one they showed him wearing one the last day of hollywood week. it must be his lucky sweatshirt because i can't think of a single other reason he would find it acceptable to wear it on national television. and to make matters worse, he referenced his clothes and touched his hoodie during the song. NOTICE MY BEAUTIFUL SWEATSHIRT, AMERICA!! now to his actual singing- it was dreadfully subpar. for once, randy said a song was pitchy when it really was. simon says no one will remember him. luke disagrees. but i, for one, won't forget his hoodie.

9) colton berry- yet another pretty boy. but this one actually sings pretty too. cut to paula as the lone dancer by the judge's table, dong her thang. i think the song is safe but he did a good job. definitely enough to keep him in the competition.

10) garrett haley- they must have given the contestants a big book of boring songs to chose from this week. either that, or none of them know how to chose a damn song. you need to pull out all the stops every week of the competiton. the vocal was sweet but boring. luckily his creepy half-formed moustache distracted me enough to make the performance semi-interesting.

11) jason castro- finally! now this boy knows how to pick a song. he took his song and made it his own. and you always gain brownie points with the voters for playing guitar on the stage.

12) michael johns- he begins by professing his love for america, detailing the length of time he has lived here. because here in these united states, we don't like them foreigners. he was awesome, hands down. maybe i'm biased because i love that song and think he's cute, but it seems the judges agree with me.

as a side note, paula looks all disheveled and droopy eyed, but i guess that's nothing new.

my predictions on who's going home: luke and jason

learning to count

today my 2 1/2 year old used the potty when she came home from preschool. after she was finished, she stood up and looked into the bowl. with her tiny finger she pointed and said "one... two... TWO DOODOOs MOMMY!" my little girl. she was so proud.

i'm so excited, i'm going to have a life outside of the home soon. i'm sure once i'm working i'm going to wish i was back home, but i really need to get out for my own sanity right now. and after the training, i'll be home in time to get the kids from playgroup two or three times a week. when i was working full time at the office, i got home after 7pm every night but friday when i left at 2. my baby never saw me. sometimes she was already sleeping for the night when i got home. so the 8 weeks of hell training for nyctf will be worth it. and after i get my master's i'll be home every day to pick them up from school. i can't wait!

unrelated, i have a love-hate relationship with working out at night. it's the best time to go because the gym is empty, so there are far less people staring at my fat ass. also, i hate shlepping the kids to the gym daycare. my little one screams the whole time and i don't get to work out at all. but the downside is that i'm revved up at insane hours. i get home around 11pm, eat massive amounts of calories (i was actually good tonight for a change and only had fruit though.) but regardless, i have so much energy, it's really hard for me to fall asleep. last night i went to bed at 11 and i felt great today for a change. but of course i ate like a fat slob yesterday and didn't work anything off. so i need to find some sort of compromise. maybe i'll try going at 9 instead of 10. i'm really self-conscious around the other people though, so i try to avoid the crowds. because i can't keep sleeping only a few hours a night, not when i have two terrors to contend with in the morning.