i'm so excited, i'm going to have a life outside of the home soon. i'm sure once i'm working i'm going to wish i was back home, but i really need to get out for my own sanity right now. and after the training, i'll be home in time to get the kids from playgroup two or three times a week. when i was working full time at the office, i got home after 7pm every night but friday when i left at 2. my baby never saw me. sometimes she was already sleeping for the night when i got home. so the 8 weeks of hell training for nyctf will be worth it. and after i get my master's i'll be home every day to pick them up from school. i can't wait!

unrelated, i have a love-hate relationship with working out at night. it's the best time to go because the gym is empty, so there are far less people staring at my fat ass. also, i hate shlepping the kids to the gym daycare. my little one screams the whole time and i don't get to work out at all. but the downside is that i'm revved up at insane hours. i get home around 11pm, eat massive amounts of calories (i was actually good tonight for a change and only had fruit though.) but regardless, i have so much energy, it's really hard for me to fall asleep. last night i went to bed at 11 and i felt great today for a change. but of course i ate like a fat slob yesterday and didn't work anything off. so i need to find some sort of compromise. maybe i'll try going at 9 instead of 10. i'm really self-conscious around the other people though, so i try to avoid the crowds. because i can't keep sleeping only a few hours a night, not when i have two terrors to contend with in the morning.